just experienced a major undergraduate flashback: 2pm in oakland and i'm finished with my classes for the week. outside it smells of a new spring but the air is heavy with rain. my roommate karen slides into the room while a scratched record spins:
"i dreamt about you last night
and i fell out of bed twice
you can pin me and mount me like a butterfly

but take me to the haven of your bed
was something that you never said
two lumps, please
you're the bee's knees, but so am i"

it's a terrible shame that you can't go back. in college i lacked confidence. i declined several salacious but nonetheless valid opportunities because i worried about other people's notions of right and wrong. i ruined a couple good relationships due to wanderlust and cheap, readily available alcohol. and remained in a couple terrible situations much longer than i should have for the same reasons. nowadays i'm old enough to know better but too far along to change some things. maybe in the next world.

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